Thursday, May 24, 2007
the lyrics got to me, i promise you got what you wanted. but why must it be that i disappointed you but not the other way around? i dont even think i want to know the answer. im just sorry, though it wouldn't change anything. if it makes you feel any better, you're not entirely on the losing end. i was just worried, but i got your message and i promise not to disturb you again.
;
i believe in karma and it is starting to come around. straight back in my face.
;
maybe sometimes i dont want to feel better by not thinking about it, cause that would mean i'd be over and done with for real.
maybe a part of me just wants to be make believe it'll be better again.
its shocking what you can discover about yourself.
the devastation of selfishness for self-defence.
so who's the victim?
maybe its nobody.
who's the instigator?
i think its the human mind.
i recently asked a friend: would you live for others or for yourself.
(because when you care for others, you put yourself in a difficult position sometimes and you end up on the losing end, but if you care for yourself, you hurt too because you feel so bad for causing someone else's pain and besides, your very action of defence will be deemed self-centered.)
he answered: he'd live for others.
i realise i'm thankful to have him in my life.
just for the mere fact that he gave me a straight answer. no depends-on-the-situation shit.
thought about it on 1:47 AM